his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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