Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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