he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
