Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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