They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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