so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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