your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Randomize