Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
