This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
