Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
