Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize