pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Found the puke drawer
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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