He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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