Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
