why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
