The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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