ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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