I accidentally had phone sex last night
one two three fourrrrnication!
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Randomize
