...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
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