i think my mom watched the whole time
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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