Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
