those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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