what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
