Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
