I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
