And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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