I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
