You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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