i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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