How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
