well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's blow job season.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
