"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
sex in a hospital.. check
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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