since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
