worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize