my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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