How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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