I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
