haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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