i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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