READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
