can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
