i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
