she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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