my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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