Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
