This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
