so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
this hospital has no fireball
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I FOUND THE LEGS
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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