you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
