You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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