I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Sext me about skeletons
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
