I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
