That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I need to stop coming to work sober
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
