Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
