NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
