the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
