My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
