My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
