well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
