If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I need to calm my uterus...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
