I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
