A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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