real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
