dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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