I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
